The author draws on twenty years of close observation as a teacher in high-pressure cram schools to explore students’　addiction and anxiety problems, how they lose enthusiasm for learning, and parent-child conflicts during the school years.

In Asia, the huge importance placed on education and competitive rankings in school and social contexts frequently turns parenting into a social problem. Taiwan is no exception. In an era of intense academic pressure, many kids are addicted to their mobile phones and getting lower grades, while those considered “child prodigies” have become withdrawn, self-harming, and even suicidal. In two decades of tutoring high school students, author Chang Yu-Chia has had extensive interaction with students and parents. As a front-line observer, he raises vital questions: What is happening to education in Taiwan? Who do parents want their children to keep up with? If children have to win all the time, where’s the finish line?

In the first of the book’s three parts, the author discusses the various problems encountered by a new generation of kids. These include poor academic performance or dysfunctional family relationships, leading to mobile phone addiction as an escape from stress; parental pressure on their children to perform well that neglects their mental well-being; and the large number of students who give up their favorite subjects for the sake of social success. The book’s second part explores the damage done to children when parent-child communication breaks down, using real cases to examine the underlying reasons parents attach so much importance to their children’s futures. The final part, which features common parent-child conflict scenarios such as fault finding, belittling, or using comparisons to motivate, confronts parents with their children’s dilemmas and heartbreak. Parents are patiently and systematically guided toward accepting their children as they are and learning to be a parent who is also a friend.

With keen insight, the author discusses education quirks and real cases encountered over two decades. A wake-up call for parents, this book will help them to sort out their emotions and connect with their kids, and also help kids who are shutting down to heal and feel understood.