When we feel frustrated in our intimate relationships, when we feel we are not good enough, or unworthy of love, what is actually needed is that we learn to love ourselves. Psychological counselor Chou Mu-Tzu gently guides readers through the root causes of our fear of intimacy, and teaches practical strategies to overcome it.

We all want to be loved, and to establish a stronger connection to our intimate partners, but we often find that the closer we get, the more we fear being hurt. Chou Mu-Tzu, author of Taiwan’s top inspiration/self-help title Emotional Blackmail, returns to address our fear of intimacy by exploring the nature of love, and the influence of our family of origin and childhood environment on the way we interact with our intimate partners.

The first half of the book explains what the fear of intimacy is, how our childhood experiences shape the way we establish relationships later in life, and the ways in which the fear of intimacy manifests. Drawing examples from the Japanese film Memories of Matsuko, the book demonstrates the connection between childhood wounding and the patterns that repeatedly play out in the love lives of the film’s characters. Cases studies in the latter half of the book will help readers identify their individual fear-type in intimate relationships: the fear of abandonment, the fear of not being good enough, the fear of the loss of self, and so on. Balancing theory and practice, the author analyzes the root causes of each fear-type, and suggests practical exercises for dealing with them. Through deepening self-awareness, readers are guided to reflect on how their relationships are impacted by the fear of intimacy, and initiate a profound process of self-healing.

More than a book about love, Fear of Intimacy is a master class on loving others, and accepting that we are worthy of being loved. This work of healing presents its knowledge in a clear, well-structured, and practical manner, helping readers to face themselves and overcome the deepest obstacles in their intimate relationships.